DESU USED INSPIRATION. IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

"Desu-San-Desu" (Desu-San-Desu) 11/29/2014 at 12:32 • Filed to: None

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I just had a flash of inspired genius:

An imagined scene from Guardians of the Galaxy 2/3:

Star-Lord sneaks into a space-mall after hours to steal a precious gem from a jewelry store inside. He goes to pick the lock, but the door is open and slightly ajar. He looks puzzled, but presses on. He gun is out and primed as he looks for security but the coast seems to be clear.

He consults the map and sees the jewelry store is on the other side of the food court. He begins to head that way, still alert for guards. Still none. He begins to become curious and suspicious about the lack of of security. He turns a corner and sees a gun lying on the ground. He crouches down and pulls his visor over his face and advances toward the edge of the wall near the gun. As he peeks around the wall, he sees guards sprawled dead or unconscious all over the food court. Chairs and tables are scattered pell-mell all over the place. On one upright table, he sees a single chair set up at it, with a wrapper of something on the table.

He advances cautiously to investigate. He gets within a few feet of the wrapper and reaches out to grab it when suddenly he is struck from behind and sent flying, crashing through chairs and tables before sliding to a stop at a smoothie bar. He doesn't see his attacker. He jumps up and whirls around, gun pointed, only to see a dark blur disappear behind his peripheral vision. He whirls to the side and raises his gauntlet just in time to block the strike of a blade. He kicks out blindly and connects, only to have his attacked grab his foot and throw him straight up into the air.

He orients himself and just as he presses the trigger for his boot thrusters, he hears a voice directly behind him shout "RECALCULATING!" and he feels a shunt spin him around to face the glass wall of a Build-a-BearBot. His thrusters kick in and he goes flying through the glass storefront, through bins of BearBot parts and into a huge wall display, knocking down tons of pre-built BearBots into a pile on top of him. Some of them squeak.

He digs himself out and just as he gets his head free of the pile, a red-gloved hand grabs him by the neck and shoves him against the wall. A second red-gloved hand shoves a wrapped snack into his face. The item inside is hot- freshly microwaved. The wrapper reads "Bean and Cheese Chimichanga".

A masked face, red and black with white eyes, can be seen behind the arms pinning him to the wall of BearBots. The owner of the mask shouts, "Who sent you!? You're here for my Chimichangas, aren't you!? Ok, so fine, I didn't exactly paaaayyyy for them, but is that really worth sending an assassin with bad fashion sense after me? They're like, two credits apiece! I've only stolen a couple hundred thousand of them, so that's only worth a couple couple hundred thousand credi-...oh. Well, I guess it does add up over time...STILL! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY CHIMICHANGAS!"

Star-Lord struggles and is able to lift up his visor, exposing his half-asphyxiated face, croaking out, "What? Who are you? And what the hell are chimichangas?"

"THEY'RE DELICIOUS IS WHAT THEY ARE! AND YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!", screams the man, shaking the heated chimichanga in Star-Lord's face for effects. The wrapper makes crinkly sounds as he does.

Star-Lord, still wheezing, replies, "Look, I'm not here for your burrito, man-"

"CHIMICHANGA! GET IT RIGHT, YOU BLASPHEMOUS BASTARD!"

"...fine. Chimichanga-"

"Good. Seriously, who the hell calls something this amazing a- ", the man shudders, "-burrito? Ugh!"

Star-Lord just stares blankly for a moment before resuming. "I'm here to grab a very important gem from that jewelry store over there. The very existence of the universe could depend on making sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands."

The masked man looks confused, his white eyes squinting suspiciously before relaxing, along with his hand. He lowers the chimichanga and releases Star-Lord, who begins coughing and catching his breath back.

The mysterious attacker stands and begins to open the wrapper, before turning around and walking away, revealing a pair of swords secured in an 'X' across his back. Facing away, he lifts his mask just enough to take a bite of his chimichanga, moaning in pleasure while chewing loudly. Just as he leaves, mouth still full, he says, "Well then...carry on, citizen. Oh- and if you ever feel like repaying me for not killing you, feel free to address any and all gifts or payment to 'Deadpool, PO BOX 6969, Your Mom's House." He then finishes his chimichanga in one final, gigantic bite, pulls his mask down, and walks away, disappearing into the shadows.

The camera pans to Star-Lord, looking confused and shocked at what just happened. He stands up from the BearBot pile and brushes himself off before he then looks towards the shattered storefront.

"Seriously, what the hell is a chimichanga?"

Tohru > Desu-San-Desu 11/29/2014 at 13:17

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I heard you died man.

Desu-San-Desu > Tohru 11/29/2014 at 16:16

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Me? Or Deadpool? Deadpool dies a lot. I've just been really busy.

Tohru > Desu-San-Desu 11/29/2014 at 16:19

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You. It's been Oppo-Sans-Desu for awhile.

Desu-San-Desu > Tohru 11/29/2014 at 16:24

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New job has me working an average of 50-60 hours a week, with 10 hour shifts and a 2-hour combined commute each day. Not to mention recently moving in with the girlfriend. I just haven't had a ton of time to post.